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Lies Men Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free

2021-01-13

FOREWORD 11 INTRODUCTION 15 SECTION ONE: FOUNDATIONS CHAPTER ONE: CROSSING THE BRIDGE WHEN WE GET THERE 23 SECTION TWO: LIES MEN BELIEVE CHAPTER TWO: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT GOD 35 1. God is not a whole lot different from me. 41 2. God isn’t actually involved in or concerned with the details of my life. 44 3. I can earn God’s favor. 48 4. There are many ways to God. 51 5. Church? I can take it or leave it. 54 CHAPTER THREE: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT THEMSELVES 59 6. I’m not responsible for my actions. 63 7. Pleasure and entertainment can satisfy me. 67 8. I’m the master of my own destiny. 70 9. Real men don’t cry. 73 10. I don’t need male friends. 75 CHAPTER FOUR: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT SIN 81 11. Who others think I am matters more than who I really am. 87 12. If I mean well, that’s good enough. 91 13. My sin isn’t really that bad. 94 14. God could never forgive me for what I’ve done. 97 15. I can hide my secret sin since it only hurts me. 100 16. Holiness is boring. 106 CHAPTER FIVE: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT SEXUALITY 109 17. A little porn is harmless. 114 18. What my wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. 119 19. If I experience same-sex attraction, I should pursue a same-sex relationship. 122 20. I have sexual needs my wife can’t fulfill. 127 CHAPTER SIX: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT MARRIAGE AND FAMILY 133 21. Love doesn’t require spoken words. 138 22. My wife is supposed to make me happy. 142 23. I don’t have what it takes to be the CEO of my home. I can leave that role to my wife. 145 24. I don’t have to grow up. 153 25. If I discipline my kids, they’ll rebel. 157 CHAPTER SEVEN: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT WORK AND WEALTH 163 26. Making more money will make me happier. 169 27. How I spend my time is my business. 172 28. I’m not responsible to be the provider for my wife and family. 176 29. My faith and my work are unrelated. 182 30. I can’t afford to give more money away. 188 CHAPTER EIGHT: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT CIRCUMSTANCES 193 31. I have the right to be angry when things don’t go my way. 199 32. Pain and suffering are always bad. 201 33. The world is rigged against me. 206 34. I can’t help how I react to certain people or circumstances. 211 35. I can run away from God. 216 CHAPTER NINE: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT THE WORLD 221 36. The world is too messed up to bring children into. 228 37. I’m measured by how I compare with other men. 233 38. With everything going on in my life, it’s really not possible to live with integrity. 238 39. Being a Christian is supposed to be cool. 242 40. My death will be the end of my story. 246 SECTION THREE: WALKING IN TRUTH CHAPTER TEN: COUNTERING THE LIES WITH THE TRUTH 253 CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE TRUTH THAT SETS US FREE 267 “If there ever was such a thing as a ‘shortcut’ to the wisdom of the ages, you’re holding it in your hands. This is the kind of wisdom that can only be earned over a lifetime of trial and error, trial and error, and, finally, trial and success.” -Patrick Morley Author, The Man in the Mirror “In 2001, I wrote a book called Lies Women Believe. Since then this message has reached millions of women and been translated into dozens of languages. But I’ve often been asked about a ‘male counterpart’ to the book. When God brought Robert into my life in 2015, I soon realized he was the ideal choice to pen this message for men. You’ll find that reading Lies Men Believe, with its warm, relatable style, is like having a conversation with a good friend. Be prepared, in the process, to grapple with some tough issues. And be prepared to experience the liberating power of the Truth—in your own life, and in the lives of those you influence.” -Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth Revive Our Hearts Teacher & Host; Lies Books Series Editor You are being hunted. Like a seasoned angler, our enemy opens his tackle box and selects the lure most likely to attract his intended prey—usually the one you and I are least likely to consider harmful. Each lie we bite on causes us to feel pain, lose or injure relationships, and miss out on the abundant life that God wants us to have. Lies Men Believe exposes the lies that men most commonly believe, and shows you how to combat those lies with the truth. Lies like: Pleasure and Entertainment Can Truly Satisfy Me If I Mean Well, That’s Good Enough If I Discipline My Children, They’ll Rebel. I’m Measured by How I Compare with Other Men. Find out how lies are holding you back from freedom, joy, and intimacy with God and others. Discover the power of the truth. Because once you fully embrace the truth, nothing is ever the Review Clear, engaging, well crafted. And best of all, anchored in the truth. This book is going to be life changing for a lot of men. I hope you’re one of them! Bob Lepine Cohost, FamilyLife Today It was the Greeks who said great communicators embodied logos (content), ethos (ethics or integrity), and pathos (passion). Well, if that be the case, then Robert Wolgemuth has checked all three boxes in this much-needed volume, Lies Men Believe. I found my heart greatly stirred as I read these inspiring words all from a man who has built a lifetime walking with Jesus and living in authentic manhood. You will be a better man after drinking in these words. Bryan Loritts Lead Pastor, Abundant Life Author of Insider, Outsider It took a long time and some unexpected circumstances for there to be a companion volume to Lies Women Believe, but in God’s good and mysterious providence it is here at last. I’m thankful for Robert’s efforts in writing a book that so wonderfully complements Nancy’s. This book will prove to be both a challenge and a blessing to you. Tim Challies Blogger When presented with the opportunity, I didn’t immediately read Robert’s manuscript. Not seeing myself as a “lie believer,” I felt no urgency. Now, I stand corrected—and grateful! Those of us who know Robert regard him as accomplished, gifted, and wise. He’s ready for anything and gracious in everything. As you will discover in this volume, he’s also candid in exploring the challenges men face. Learning from him was like a workout for the soul, leaving me convicted and inspired. There were moments when I flushed with emotion, and others that left me galvanized with resolve. Lies Men Believe is personally relevant to every manand will prompt you to do business with God—as I did. I highly recommend it. Paul Santhouse Publisher, Moody Publishers The most dangerous lies are always the most alluring. They come to us in the guise of the good, the delightful, and the wise (Gen. 3:6). Thankfully, in this insightful and practical book, Robert Wolgemuth not only unmasks those lies, he teaches us how to recognize them for what they are. If only I’d had this book forty years ago! George Grant Pastor of Parish Presbyterian Church Even though the most prominent word on the cover of this book is “Lies,” I know from experience that the most important word can be found in the subtitle. It’s “Truth.” This is a book about truth . . . the power of truth. Truth that sets a man free. And this truth can be found in the absolute reliability of God’s Word, the Bible. Patrick Morley Bestselling author and founder, Man in the Mirror For many years, I have had the privilege of preaching the gospel . . . the good news of Jesus Christ who is, Himself, the Truth. This book, Lies Men Believe, identifies some of the awful things Satan whispers in our ears . . . lies that are shattered because of freedom that God’s grace and His truth provide. I’m thankful to Robert Wolgemuth for putting this in writing and I enthusiastically recommend this book to you. Jack Graham Host of PowerPoint, author, and pastor, Prestonwood Baptist Church About the Author PATRICK MORLEY founded Man in the Mirror in 1991 and has since impacted the lives of more than 10,000,000 men worldwide. Since 1986, he has taught a weekly Friday morning Bible study to 150 businessmen in Orlando, Florida. This study is broadcast on iTunes and webcast around the world. Pat also speaks to men daily through the Man in the Mirror radio program. He has written 16 books, including The Marriage Prayer, A Man's Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines and Pastoring Men. Pat lives in Winter Park, Florida with his wife, Patsy. They have two grown children and two granddaughters.

FOREWORD 11 INTRODUCTION 15 SECTION ONE: FOUNDATIONS CHAPTER ONE: CROSSING THE BRIDGE WHEN WE GET THERE 23 SECTION TWO: LIES MEN BELIEVE CHAPTER TWO: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT GOD 35 1. God is not a whole lot different from me. 41 2. God isn’t actually involved in or concerned with the details of my life. 44 3. I can earn God’s favor. 48 4. There are many ways to God. 51 5. Church? I can take it or leave it. 54 CHAPTER THREE: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT THEMSELVES 59 6. I’m not responsible for my actions. 63 7. Pleasure and entertainment can satisfy me. 67 8. I’m the master of my own destiny. 70 9. Real men don’t cry. 73 10. I don’t need male friends. 75 CHAPTER FOUR: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT SIN 81 11. Who others think I am matters more than who I really am. 87 12. If I mean well, that’s good enough. 91 13. My sin isn’t really that bad. 94 14. God could never forgive me for what I’ve done. 97 15. I can hide my secret sin since it only hurts me. 100 16. Holiness is boring. 106 CHAPTER FIVE: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT SEXUALITY 109 17. A little porn is harmless. 114 18. What my wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. 119 19. If I experience same-sex attraction, I should pursue a same-sex relationship. 122 20. I have sexual needs my wife can’t fulfill. 127 CHAPTER SIX: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT MARRIAGE AND FAMILY 133 21. Love doesn’t require spoken words. 138 22. My wife is supposed to make me happy. 142 23. I don’t have what it takes to be the CEO of my home. I can leave that role to my wife. 145 24. I don’t have to grow up. 153 25. If I discipline my kids, they’ll rebel. 157 CHAPTER SEVEN: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT WORK AND WEALTH 163 26. Making more money will make me happier. 169 27. How I spend my time is my business. 172 28. I’m not responsible to be the provider for my wife and family. 176 29. My faith and my work are unrelated. 182 30. I can’t afford to give more money away. 188 CHAPTER EIGHT: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT CIRCUMSTANCES 193 31. I have the right to be angry when things don’t go my way. 199 32. Pain and suffering are always bad. 201 33. The world is rigged against me. 206 34. I can’t help how I react to certain people or circumstances. 211 35. I can run away from God. 216 CHAPTER NINE: LIES MEN BELIEVE ABOUT THE WORLD 221 36. The world is too messed up to bring children into. 228 37. I’m measured by how I compare with other men. 233 38. With everything going on in my life, it’s really not possible to live with integrity. 238 39. Being a Christian is supposed to be cool. 242 40. My death will be the end of my story. 246 SECTION THREE: WALKING IN TRUTH CHAPTER TEN: COUNTERING THE LIES WITH THE TRUTH 253 CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE TRUTH THAT SETS US FREE 267 “If there ever was such a thing as a ‘shortcut’ to the wisdom of the ages, you’re holding it in your hands. This is the kind of wisdom that can only be earned over a lifetime of trial and error, trial and error, and, finally, trial and success.” -Patrick Morley Author, The Man in the Mirror “In 2001, I wrote a book called Lies Women Believe. Since then this message has reached millions of women and been translated into dozens of languages. But I’ve often been asked about a ‘male counterpart’ to the book. When God brought Robert into my life in 2015, I soon realized he was the ideal choice to pen this message for men. You’ll find that reading Lies Men Believe, with its warm, relatable style, is like having a conversation with a good friend. Be prepared, in the process, to grapple with some tough issues. And be prepared to experience the liberating power of the Truth—in your own life, and in the lives of those you influence.” -Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth Revive Our Hearts Teacher & Host; Lies Books Series Editor You are being hunted. Like a seasoned angler, our enemy opens his tackle box and selects the lure most likely to attract his intended prey—usually the one you and I are least likely to consider harmful. Each lie we bite on causes us to feel pain, lose or injure relationships, and miss out on the abundant life that God wants us to have. Lies Men Believe exposes the lies that men most commonly believe, and shows you how to combat those lies with the truth. Lies like: Pleasure and Entertainment Can Truly Satisfy Me If I Mean Well, That’s Good Enough If I Discipline My Children, They’ll Rebel. I’m Measured by How I Compare with Other Men. Find out how lies are holding you back from freedom, joy, and intimacy with God and others. Discover the power of the truth. Because once you fully embrace the truth, nothing is ever the Review Clear, engaging, well crafted. And best of all, anchored in the truth. This book is going to be life changing for a lot of men. I hope you’re one of them! Bob Lepine Cohost, FamilyLife Today It was the Greeks who said great communicators embodied logos (content), ethos (ethics or integrity), and pathos (passion). Well, if that be the case, then Robert Wolgemuth has checked all three boxes in this much-needed volume, Lies Men Believe. I found my heart greatly stirred as I read these inspiring words all from a man who has built a lifetime walking with Jesus and living in authentic manhood. You will be a better man after drinking in these words. Bryan Loritts Lead Pastor, Abundant Life Author of Insider, Outsider It took a long time and some unexpected circumstances for there to be a companion volume to Lies Women Believe, but in God’s good and mysterious providence it is here at last. I’m thankful for Robert’s efforts in writing a book that so wonderfully complements Nancy’s. This book will prove to be both a challenge and a blessing to you. Tim Challies Blogger When presented with the opportunity, I didn’t immediately read Robert’s manuscript. Not seeing myself as a “lie believer,” I felt no urgency. Now, I stand corrected—and grateful! Those of us who know Robert regard him as accomplished, gifted, and wise. He’s ready for anything and gracious in everything. As you will discover in this volume, he’s also candid in exploring the challenges men face. Learning from him was like a workout for the soul, leaving me convicted and inspired. There were moments when I flushed with emotion, and others that left me galvanized with resolve. Lies Men Believe is personally relevant to every manand will prompt you to do business with God—as I did. I highly recommend it. Paul Santhouse Publisher, Moody Publishers The most dangerous lies are always the most alluring. They come to us in the guise of the good, the delightful, and the wise (Gen. 3:6). Thankfully, in this insightful and practical book, Robert Wolgemuth not only unmasks those lies, he teaches us how to recognize them for what they are. If only I’d had this book forty years ago! George Grant Pastor of Parish Presbyterian Church Even though the most prominent word on the cover of this book is “Lies,” I know from experience that the most important word can be found in the subtitle. It’s “Truth.” This is a book about truth . . . the power of truth. Truth that sets a man free. And this truth can be found in the absolute reliability of God’s Word, the Bible. Patrick Morley Bestselling author and founder, Man in the Mirror For many years, I have had the privilege of preaching the gospel . . . the good news of Jesus Christ who is, Himself, the Truth. This book, Lies Men Believe, identifies some of the awful things Satan whispers in our ears . . . lies that are shattered because of freedom that God’s grace and His truth provide. I’m thankful to Robert Wolgemuth for putting this in writing and I enthusiastically recommend this book to you. Jack Graham Host of PowerPoint, author, and pastor, Prestonwood Baptist Church About the Author PATRICK MORLEY founded Man in the Mirror in 1991 and has since impacted the lives of more than 10,000,000 men worldwide. Since 1986, he has taught a weekly Friday morning Bible study to 150 businessmen in Orlando, Florida. This study is broadcast on iTunes and webcast around the world. Pat also speaks to men daily through the Man in the Mirror radio program. He has written 16 books, including The Marriage Prayer, A Man's Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines and Pastoring Men. Pat lives in Winter Park, Florida with his wife, Patsy. They have two grown children and two granddaughters.

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